Nazi Undead

It's really hard to screw up a Nazi horror movie, but clearly not impossible. I've always found that the best movie monsters are monsters that are real and as far as real monsters the Nazis should be at the top of the list. When as a teen in the 80s I was completely unaware that Nazis as horror movie monster. That all changed when I saw Shock Waves with Peter Cushing. When I saw that it changed horror movies for me. Coming from Wisconsin I'm completely aware that two movies many consider the best of all time Texas Chainsaw and Psycho are based on the real life mother obsessed farmer Ed Gein and if you've seen those two films and you know the true story they aren't alike and as a real movie Ed Gein doesn't have the same value as Nazis because he's was crazy but Nazis are evil and completely aware of what they were doing and why they were doing it. Now this movie despite having the Nazis which gives them endless directions of where to take the story do almost nothing with it. The same tired gimmick of music as a tool for scares happened several times for no reason nothing was lurking no revealing shots of children crab walking on the ceiling. Creepy children are part of this movie just not with tension filled building of musical that climax's with a scary reveal. To me it sounded like the music and the filming took place independently with very little direction. It sometimes bothers me to trash anyone acting in what me be the one and only time they get a shot and while it's unlikely/ridiculous that a casting director would use a bozo like me and my review to help make a decision in casting I still try not to rip people in my comments. First off in the description of the movie it talks that this is a romantic getaway for these two when it's anything but that and even before you learn the story of how they got to this point it's is clear this is not romance and you do find out why. That is obviously the fault of the actors and the bad acting could partly be the directors fault but the fact that not one emotion seems authentic the actors still have to be able to give you something resembling how a human would behave in a dangerous situation and in fact one moment is so ridiculous in its in probability it made me angry and I'm sure most people who have a fully functioning brain will know immediately after it happens I don't have to describe it anymore than this. Horror movies are usually filed with choices and this movie is not an exception and while the choice made was the right one this to was done in a way that that would confuse and frustrate not it makes no sense to have it the way it is in this movie. I watched the whole movie as I'm incapable of turning off a Nazi horror movie much like fat guy and a candy bar but my guess that won't be an issue for some of you.

I successfully managed to be on my phone texting, playing a game, and reading other user reviews while this was on. Hell, at one point I left the house because I didn't even realize it was still on. That's how awful and boring of a movie this is. Don't waste your time unless you need noise to fall asleep.

Move over Speed 2, because you've been replaced at the top of my Worst Movies Ever list. The characters are thoroughly unlikable, the acting annoying, and for a 80 minute movie it seemed to go on forever. I generally enjoy bad movies but apparently I have my limits.

The entire production process is a hoax. Steven Spiel? Really? Bio smells fake. From Australia? German sited film made "entirely in Australia." Argh. Do any research beyond "gore", Steven? Exec/ Producer credits are laughable. Idea is terrible and cliche'd beyond words. The nazis, or that they are nazis, has nothing to do with the story. Could be Repubs in Alabama or Dems in Southern Cal. The writing is derivative of every zombie movie ever made. Georgia Chara tries to do something with this tripe, but sows ears can't be made into even plastic coin purse. Can't bring a dead script to life, Gabrielle. Sorry. (Careful of slack jaw acting.) It's awful. Don't waste the breath, energy, or time.