Lost After Dark

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Disclaimer: I am a huge fan of 80s slasher movies so it doesn't take much to impress me: this was BORING. I spent 4 bucks on the Amazon rental and regretted it from the beginning. If you want to see a movie that conjures 80s slasher nostalgia with substance and entertainment, watch The Final Girls (mix of nostalgia, horror, and heart that is perfectly mixed). This one has some "cute points" with the naming of characters (e.g. Adrienne, Tobe, Jamie) but beyond that, there is nothing. You can never tell if it is trying to be a scary parody or horror movie with comedic elements. Heck, it takes forever to get to any kind of blood! And when it does come, you don't even care...you don't even hate the dumb characters enough to care if they live or die. You just wait for the end credits so you can pop in Friday the 13th Part 2 and see a REAL slasher movie.

Set in Michigan in 1984 this movie pays homage to the 1980s style American slasher horror genre and stars Robert Patrick of X-Files and True Blood fame. In typical US teen fashion some kids steal a school bus in order to take a 'secret' getaway to a hunting cabin in the woods to party, unfortunately they run out of gas in the middle of nowhere (surprise, surprise!). The situation soon takes a nasty turn when they trespass through an old house that they believe to be abandoned, and are soon stalked and murdered by a cannibalistic killer. Lost After Dark is just an average slasher horror, bringing in nothing fresh or exciting, and despite the seemingly silly inclusion of Robert Patrick's annoying character, it's actually not THAT bad of a movie. However, it does get a bit stupid and predictable towards the end. Lost After Dark is still worth a watch for those who enjoy 80s slasher style horrors. For more reviews please visit: www.scifikingdom.co.uk

I thought that the film The Final Girls, which is an homage to 80's slasher flicks, embraced the genre almost perfectly, but played it too safe resulting in a mixed bag. Lost After Dark fares even worse, having zero comedy, zero fun and drags the viewer through complete boredom before the final credits rolls. The film is a chore to get through and rewards the viewer with absolutely nothing. At their high school dance a group of friends decide to steal a school bus and go up to a family cabin for some fun. Their bus breaks down in the middle of nowhere and the kids find themselves being picked off one by one from a crazed cannibal killer. Who will survive? What will be left of them? And every other 80's horror tagline you can think of. This film desperately needed to be played for laughs and the biggest mistake it makes is that it chooses to play everything seriously. It wants us to believe that this film could have actually been from the 80's. Yet it has none of the charm that those slasher films had, as bad as some of those movies were, they had a sense of charm. This film has zero, nada, nothing really going for it. Being intentionally retro does not equal a good film. It purposely inserts the classic "film grain" to make it feel authentic. It never works. It even lamely incorporates the "missing reel" gag that worked to hilarious results in Grindhouse. Here it's a pathetic attempt to try and feel more genuine. It fails, miserably. Aesthetic failures aside, the script fares even worse. It seems the only thing the writers know about are the clichéd horror stereotypes. We are given the jock, the token black guy, the nerd, *, good-girl, etc. We are forced to listen to them spew inane dialogue back and forth in a sad attempt at building character. It never works and makes the film feel longer than it actually is. The entire first half of the film drags at a wickedly slow pace and the so-called pay off of kills doesn't ever reach its potential. I will give the film some credit though, it surprised me with the initial death. That one moment where they manage to fool the audience and pull the rug out from under our feet is the only interesting moment in the entire film.