The Funhouse Massacre

source: The Funhouse Massacre

Don't come into this film expecting anything groundbreaking, or a movie with something to say. This is dumb slasher movie fun at its best, and it's actually well made little flick based around a pretty sick idea. The characters are mainly pretty blah, and very cliché, but they embrace that. There is one character who doesn't fit at all and really took away from the fun of the movie. Yea he was a comedy relief character but he failed at it miserably, with his dumb jokes and his lame attempts and physical comedy. You will be able to pick out this character immediately. There was also another pretty goofy character that turns out to be very enjoyable and he serves as a much better plucky comedy relief. The body count in this film is insane. The acting is sub-par but I expected nothing less. The ending was pretty tongue in cheek but I really liked that. This is a great film to watch with some friends and some beer. Just go in expecting brainless fun and you won't be disappointed.

Hey now. I'm supposed to visit my first "Haunted Funhouse" (actually 10 of them) next weekend at Kings Island in Ohio…and after watching this, I don't think so. Not that this movie was the scariest film I've seen, but the concept and some of the execution was enough for me to probably sit that visit out. The very basic of the plot here is that "five or six" mental patients are set free on Halloween night and they take over a Halloween Funhouse where they proceed to slaughter countless participants while we have a group of young adult friends plus a hilariously understaffed police force we follow and care about living through this {insert title here.} The movie is probably 50/50 lite comedy and extreme gory horror and likewise, 50% of the humor works and 50% of the horror works. Luckily the positive parts are worth the entire attraction. I did find myself laughing out loud at times and freaked completely out during other scenes. Of course, that leaves the missing 50% on both sides. Some of the jokes fell flat and some of the kills were so outrageously unrealistic, it couldn't be taken remotely seriously. Too bad, because they had something here. A place people could get slaughtered in front of others and no one would be the wiser. In fact, they relished in it. At least, in this scenario. I rarely say this about a movie I just watched and came out less than a year ago: REMAKE THIS MOVIE. If you've seen this, can you possibly imagine if this was played straight without any comedy or the many attempts at homages to the slasher subgenre? (Oh, and for the record, most of those also fell flat and the John Carpenter's Halloween-Theme music never fit. Sorry Mr. Composer…you were just a Con-poser.) If this movie was a straight up massacre horror in which people were offed in a Halloween Funhouse where you're supposed to be scared, but still make it out in one piece, it would probably kill at the box office, pardon the pun. Sure, I did enjoy the humor at times and the light tones did make me a little less jumpy, but if they remade this movie in dead seriousness, I probably wouldn't sleep for days. Eh. Here, nor there. It's a thoroughly gory ride that, thankfully never crosses the line since we're supposed to be having a fun time. Amateurish at times – definitely had a direct-to-Chiller-Network feel – it never excels to "real movie" status and yet, it's definitely a passable horror-comedy. Just too bad said "comedy" was really bad at times. The movie Scream this was not, but a distant cousin you can freely visit once in a while. *** Final thoughts: Day 5 Movie in the Can! I'm watching a NEW-2-ME horror movie every day of October 2016 and this one I've wanted to see for a while now. Originally, I thought this was a remake to the original 1981 movie: The Funhouse, which I finally saw a year or so ago. That 35-year- old movie did not live up to my expectations, so I was hoping this new version would. NOTE: it is NOT a remake. Just both are horror films involving funhouses. Oh and one more final thought: who the hell opens their Halloween funhouse ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT? NO ONE DOES. Ours, here in Arizona, open a month prior and run every week until Halloween. I've never been to one, as I previously stated (until next weekend…maybe) but from what I'm told, the lines are extremely long and each sells out night after night during October…so why the hell would anyone open one, like they did in this movie, on the last night of the fright-season? Inconceivable!

This is a fun movie to watch. It has a Rob Zombie kind of feel for me too. Jere Burns is outstanding as Mental Manny and I can defiantly say that Candice De Visser steals the show as Dollface. Great over the top gore with some descend effects. Don't try to dissect the what and why's in this movie because you'll just give yourself a headache. Sit back and enjoy.